DAY 1: An Unfulfilled Life (Serra del Montsec & Sierra de Guara)
congost de mont-rebei
With a hiking path carved into its cliff face, Congost de Mont-Rebei is among the most gorgeous gorges to hike in the world. You can start with a climb to Mare de Deu de la Pertusa, a hermitage that is built unnecessarily high on a vertigo inducing ridge; pray to God that you make it down in one piece. Back down, you’ll start the 12 km journey through and around the gorge, with nothing but common sense preventing you from plummeting to an untimely demise. At the halfway point are the Pasarelas de Montfalco, a set of ridiculously unsafe-looking stairs spanning the entire height of the canyon; climb them, then you’ll arrive at the top of the canyon, where you’ll traverse an absurdly unsafe-looking bridge spanning the entire width of the canyon. If you survive, you may either hike to the end of the path and hike the return journey (6 hours total if you’re not struggling to breathe every 5 seconds) or make a one-way trip and pre-arrange for a van to take you back to your starting point (or make the one-way trip, vanishing into the wilderness). The one way trip is your best bet, so you can explore the rest of today’s itinerary. Alternatively, if you aren’t fit for walking, you can arrange a boat tour through the gorge, or if you’re too fit for walking, you can also explore the gorge via kayak.
Suggested duration: 3 hours. Visit www.campingager.com for more information.
Torreciudad
A shrine to Mary, built by Josemaria Escriva in 1975, Torreciudad is a relatively recent construction (it’s architecture scream 1970’s) but the statue for which it was built, Our Lady of Torreciudad, has been around since at least the 11th century - it's design screams 1070’s. Escriva was also the founder of Opus Dei, the Catholic organization which believes that an ordinary life is the best pathway to sanctity (you always knew that you were special). You could also visit the old hermitage where the Mary statue originally stood.
Suggested duration: 30 minutes. Visit www.torreciudad.org for opening times and more information.
BONUS: Salto de bierge
Even those unimpressed by the fact that this waterfall is manmade and annoyed that they have to pay for entering won’t be able to resist the temptation to take a swim inside this peaceful lagoon especially on a hot day followed by a picnic lunch on the shore.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.descubrehuesca.com for more information.
rodellar
You don’t have to be a rock-climber to appreciate Rodellar, one of the most popular destination climbs in Europe. Assuming you’re not Spiderman or trying to die today, take a short walk from the nearby village of Rodellar to see the stunning arches, and maybe even catch a glimpse of someone simultaneously braver and dumber than you attempting the climb. “I’m sorry, I can’t watch this.”
Suggested duration: 30 minutes.
mascun inferior canyon
If you feel like you’re leading an unfulfilled life after the last stop here’s your chance to live a little while still continuing to live after it’s over. Take a guided tour through Mascun Inferior (you can forget about Mascun Superior), which provides more than sufficient adventure, climbing and swimming included, through a picturesque canyon, with guides to hold your hand throughout the journey.
Suggested duration: 3-4 hours. Visit www.canyontrekguara.com for booking and more information.
STAY THE NIGHT in: zaragoza
DAY 2: Paint the town Red (Zaragoza)
Basilica de nuestra Senora del pilar & plaza del pilar
The Basilica of “Our Lady” is a Roman catholic church dedicated to Mary. You’re probably thinking “big deal, pretty much every church that ever existed was dedicated to Mary.” Well this was actually the very first church to be dedicated to Mary so shut up. After the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus, Saint James came to Spain to preach gospel (so mostly business, perhaps some pleasure on the side). Unfortunately, the people of Spain didn’t take to the gospel of Jesus right away (it’s hard to compete with the gospel of cured meats). Just when St. James was about to throw in the towel, the Virgin Mary appeared to him on the rivers edge (her first purported appearance after death) and told St. James to build a chapel in that very place, in her honor (or else). So James did as told, building a small chapel with a statue of the Virgin, where the current massive basilica stands today. When he returned to Jerusalem in 44 AD, he was rewarded with a prompt execution by Herod Agrippa, but his body was brought back to Spain for burial. The current Baroque basilica, completed in 1686, was preceded by a Romanesque as well as a Gothic church. The most notable feature is the statue of the Virgin Mary, purportedly from the original chapel, on display in the Holy Chapel, on the eastern side of the basilica, adorned with frescoes by Francisco Goya. The church survives to this day, despite the deploying of three bombs during the Spanish Civil War in the late 1930’s; two of the bombs didn’t explode, which is basically scientific proof of God’s existence, though they’re really testing God’s will and patience by keeping the two bombs on display inside the basilica.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for opening times and more information.
goya museum
With only 14 paintings and five engravings by Goya, you might be wondering why it’s called the Goya Museum, but with pieces from various periods of his life, it’s a good lens into his life, as well as the world around him, accompanied by works of art from other artists of the day. Among the Goya highlights are The Glory or Adoration of the Name of God, Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters (like a Hitchcock-ian nightmare in sketch form) and Self Portrait (are you sure I don’t like fat in this self-portrait?) The non-Goya highlights include de Granen’s Enthoned Virgin (good advertisement for abstinence), Giaquinto’s St. Joseph’s Dream, Bayeu’s Holy Spirit Surrounded by Angels and Pradilla Ortiz’ Spring Fog in Italy (which makes Spain look prettier in comparison).
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.museogoya.ibercaja.es for tickets, opening times and more information.
tapestry museum
One of the most extensive tapestry collections in the world is located in La Seo Cathedral, comprised of 63 mint condition Flemish and French tapestries from medieval to Renaissance times, 11 of which are displayed at any given time. (I demand to see the rest) Some of them depict important scenes in history, while others make even the most mundane of historical events seem important.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for opening times and more information.
museo del teatro de caesaraugusta
Built in the 1st century AD, during the reign of Augusta (obviously), this Roman theater was one of the largest in what was then known as Saragossa (Zaragoza) in Hispania (Spain). The museum details the type of shows that were on display: tragedies, or comedies (tragedy + time) as well as the history of the site between Roman times and today told through artifacts found here.
Suggested duration: 30 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for opening times and more information.
mural de la torre nueva
All that remains of Zaragoza’s New Tower, a 16th century clock-tower, and symbolic center of the city, is the perimeter bricks and this mural depicting it. Zaragoza’s own Leaning Tower of Pisa was doomed from the start by a lack of structural integrity. Instead of trying to preserve it, the local government decided it wasn’t worth all the effort and demolished it in 1892. The locals coined the term ‘turricide’ as a protest (which makes it sound more like they were putting buildings in concentration camps). A memorial was finally built in 1998, marked by a bronze sculpture of a boy looking up in awe at where the town’s marvel once stood. Never forget.
Suggested duration: 5-10 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for more information.
zaragoza central market
Built in 1903, Zaragoza Market is one of the most iconic buildings in Zaragoza, filling the void left by the destruction of the New Tower a decade prior. It’s also known as the Market of Lazuna, named for 16th century Justice of Aragon John of Lazuna, who was executed in this very spot (justice was not served that day), who would be proud of the nearly 200 food stalls in his honor.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes.
bonus: puerta del carmen
Completed in 1792, this poor man’s arch (or drunken attempt at building at an arch) was one of twelve access points to the city of Zaragoza. Nowadays, you can just walk around it - probably for the best, given its fragile-looking structure. In truth, its impressive that it’s still standing given the projectile marks from the Second French Siege of Zaragoza in 1809 as well as the head-on collision of a bus into the arch in 1997, which would have downed any lesser arches; if you think the arch looks bad, you should see the bus.
Suggested duration: 5-10 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for more information.
bonus: mural puerta del rey don sancho
Painted on the side of a church in 2008 by Fabiola Gil and Vicente Gomez, this mural depicts the Sancho Gate, another piece of Zaragoza history needlessly demolished rather than preserved in 1868. It also depicts life back then, which seems rather boring.
Suggested duration: 5-10 minutes.
palacio de la aljaferia
Built in the late 11th century, this palace served as the residence of the Banu Hud dynasty after deposing the longstanding Banu Tujibi dynasty. The palace was built by Abu Jaffar Al-Muqtadir who was known as “the powerful” even though his dad Suleyman was responsible for the deposing part, but whatever make Abu feel better about himself. Aljaferia is one of three famous Islamic architectural feats of Spain, along with The Great Mosque of Cordoba and Alhambra. Like its counterparts, Aljafera was deemed worthy enough to avoid destruction during the Reconquista (you’d think they would extend the same appreciation to its makers) and went on to serve as the seat of the kings of Aragon from 1118 until becoming the seat of the Catholic monarchs in 1593 and a military fortress in 1593. From the moment you enter the Patio de Santa Isabel, you can see geometric arches and patterns which are characteristic of Islamic art (you can’t fool me, there’s nothing Santa Isabel about this place), especially evident in the nearby Prayer Room. The upstairs rooms, the Medieval Christian Palace, the Palace of Catholic Kings, and the Throne Room are, likewise, nothing like their names suggest. The oldest part of the palace it the Troubador Tower, built in the 9th century AD, from which the rest of the palace was expanded. It was built by the first Banu Tujibi, Muhammad Alanqur, and later served (without a hint of self-awareness) as a dungeon during the late 1400s Inquisition, in which Muslims along with Jews were tortured for the crime of being alternative. Not everything that happened here was bad though; it was right here that Cristopher Columbus requested permission from Isabella and Ferdinand for his voyage to India (Spring Break!!), which led to the discovery of America, which is a pretty good thing (at the minor expense of the decimation of America’s indigenous population). As you explore the halls of the palace, keep in mind that most of the walls were once painted in gold, blue and red; the color must have faded with each crime against humanity.
Suggested duration: 90 minutes. Visit www.zaragoza.es for opening times and more information.
STAY THE NIGHT IN: zaragoza
DAY 3: Abandonment Issues (Belchite & Jaca)
belchite
The medieval town of Belchite was situated on the front lines of two major Spanish conflicts, both separated by over 800 years. In 1122 Belchite was conquered by king of Aragon Alfonso the Battler (obviously not someone that you would want to do battle with), on his way to conquer Zaragoza the following year. It was here that Alfonso established the Confraternity of Knights, hosting con-frat parties, and vowing to “devote all their days to molesting and fighting pagans.” (the molesting seems cruel and unnecessary), pagans referring to the Moors or Muslims of Spain, even though they believe in the same God, but whatever floats your rage boat. Belchite survived all the way until 1937, when it was destroyed in the Spanish Civil War. General Franco built a new village next to it, but kept the old town as a ghost town memorial to the horrors of war. (Or he could have just, you know, not started a war to begin with.) The ruins have a rusty Spanish medieval vibe, lending atmosphere to Adventures of Baron Munchausen and Pan’s Labyrinth.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.belchite.es for tickets, opening times and more information.
bonus: casa de dios de julio basanta
Abandoned by his father at an early age, along with his ten siblings (worst dad ever), Julio Basanta nevertheless worked through his probable abandonment issues, married and had children, and built this house with his bare hands (he probably had help but it would’ve been epic if he did it solo). Unfortunately, his life was far from perfect. His brother was shot to death by police in 1977 for drawing political graffiti (you can only protest in places where the oppressor won’t see it). Then, his only son was shot to death by police in 2002 for no apparent reason (blue lives matter). Most definitely as a way of dealing with these tragedies, Basanta began to decorate his home with statues of angels and demons. He was planning to light the house on fire one day but tragically passed away in 2018 and the kids, probably scared shitless growing up there, want nothing to do with house, leaving it empty and spooky.
Suggested duration: 30 minutes.
museum of military miniatures
Famous battle scenes from ancient to modern times are reenacted with over 32,000 tiny lead figures at this museum, located in the 16th century Citadel of Jaca. No you can’t play with them but you can appreciate all the work that went into the depiction of these scenes, down to the specific uniforms, settings and battle formations used in each battle, almost making war look like fun.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.museominiaturasjaca.es for opening times and more information.
real monasterio san juan de la pena
In another episode of monks building monasteries in precarious conditions, the monastery of “Saint John of the Cliff” is partially carved into the rock that looms threateningly over it. Comprised of an Old Monastery, built in 920, and the New Monastery, built 1675, Saint John serves as burial place of some Aragonian kings, and whoever else happens to be here when the rock collapses.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.monasteriosanjuan.com for opening times and more information.
esco
With the establishment of the Yesa Dam in 1960, much of the surrounding farmland was flooded, rendering Esco and surrounding towns mostly uninhabitable, “mostly” because there are still a few people living here, so don’t be too spooked if you see someone watching you menacingly from a distance (there’s always a small chance it could be a ghost, so do be on guard). The San Miguel Church still stands at town center as do most of the ruins around it; other than a few ghosts you should have it mostly to yourself.
Suggested duration: 2-3 minutes.