DAY 1: Not Like the Other States (Downtown Anchorage)
must see: Anchorage Museum
Alaska’s largest museum tells the story of the state from its beginning to modern times through artifacts and art, in an effort to preserve and share Alaska’s unique native and natural character - “I’m not like the other states” should be Alaska’s official state motto. Highlights include the “Art of the North” Gallery with impressive landscape paintings of settings that you wouldn’t be able to see on your own without losing your way back, including a gallery of works by Sydney Laurence, Alaska’s most famous artist.
Suggested duration: 2 hours. Visit www.anchoragemuseum.org for operating hours and more information.
DO MORE: Iditarod historic trail
If you’re looking for mindless entertainment to clap at in order to fill the spiritual void in your life, the annual long-distance (900+ miles) sled dog race should suffice, animal rights be damned. It’s probably worth watching if you’re here on the first Saturday in March, if only because everyone else here seems to be watching - when in doubt, follow the crowd! If you happen to be here for any other time of year, the corner that marks the race’s starting point is the closest you’ll get to old world charms in Anchorage.
Highlights of the corner include the historic Wendler Building, once a private social club for women - “where every night is lady’s night” should’ve been their official motto - and the Balto Statue, in honor of the “top dog” among a brave pack of sled dogs who in 1925, “Uber-dogged” 674 miles to deliver medicine to children in Nome, Alaska, amid a diphtheria outbreak- more evidence we don’t deserve dogs - as depicted in the 1995 animated film Balto, with a bit of artistic license - Phil Collins voices two polar bears.
Suggested duration: 30 minutes. Visit www.iditarod.com for more information
MUST SEE: Anchorage coastal trail
The otherwise-called Tony Knowles Coastal Trail was named after the seventh governor of Alaska (of no relations to Beyonce unfortunately for him - let him have it on Twitter, Hive-minders!). The trail has the distinction of being one of the most diversely terrained recreational paths you can ever hope to traverse in a major city, if you can even call Anchorage a major city; what it lacks in modern infrastructure, affordable housing and basic safety, it less than makes up for in its proximity and integration of the surrounding natural elements, but you might as well enjoy the outdoors. Any moment can be your last, especially in Alaska.
The best way to explore the paved 11-mile path is by bike which you can rent for cheap (or try to barter for freshly caught fish) near Downtown, for cruising views of the coast, and maybe even a moose, a great opportunity for selfies gone horribly wrong.
Average duration: 3-6 hours. Visit www.anchoragecoastaltrail.com for more information.
DO MORE: Alaska Wild Berry Products
Sure, you can pick your own berries in the Alaskan wild, and then have an epiphany that you need to live off the grid and off the land, but that’s what Christopher McCandless thought, and we all know how that turned out for him. Besides being toxin-free, the latest health fad, the berries featured in raw, and superior jam-form, at Wild Berry Products are completely natural, as are many of the other snacks, including beef and salmon jerky, for the rare pescatarian cowboy. Not content with just good quality snacks, Wild Berry features the world’s largest chocolate waterfall. It’s not as big as Roald Dahl would lead you to believe but at 3000 lbs of liquid chocolate, any more would be a waste, especially in the event that it’s contaminated by a big and unsteady Belgian boy.
Suggested duration: 30 minutes. Visit www.akwildberry.com for operating hours and more information.
MUST SEE: alaska native heritage center
Not like other museums, Alaska Native Heritage Center aims to immerse the visitor in Alaskan native culture with story time (BYO sleeping bag) and dancing, sometimes literally by inviting the visitors to join the performers in dance. Don’t be shy, you won’t get served. If you’re not comfortable with cultural immersion and prefer to just see cultural objects on display like a British colonialist, you might enjoy the life-sized replica of an Alaskan dwelling while muttering to yourself about the inferiorities of primitive society.
Suggested duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.alaskanative.net for operating hours and more information.
STAY THE NIGHT IN: ANCHORAGE
DAY 2: Chu Up the Scenery (Chugach State Park)
HIKING OPTION A: Glen Alps Trailhead (EASY)
The most accessible, and thereby most popular access point to the Anchorage-adjacent Chugach State Park, is the Glen Alps Trailhead, with several trail options for hikers of differing adventure-tolerance. Depending on the season, you may encounter anything from fresh flowers (spring), fresh blueberries (fall), fresh bears (summer), or fresh avalanches (winter) - pick wisely!
Note: Arrive early during peak season - parking is limited. Parking pass must be bought in advance and affixed to the vehicle. There is also a shuttle service available between Anchorage and Glen Alps Trailhead, for those looking to arrive without a car.
Average duration: 60 minutes. Visit www.anchorage.net for more information.
HIKING OPTION B: FLATTOP MOUNTAIN (difficult)
From Glen Alps Trailhead, you can access the most popular hike in the park, Flattop Mountain, which is a short 1.5 mile trail but is rated difficult which can mean only one thing - it’s as close to vertical as you can get. Nevertheless, you don’t get the peak views without first climbing the peak, which ends with a football field-sized plateau, and may even lead to an impromptu game of pick- up football. Just be sure to mind your surroundings, lest you touchdown dance over a cliff, and save some fuel for the way back.
Note: If you arrived by shuttle, mind your timing as well. The shuttle departs at 4, giving you a short window to complete the hike.
Average duration: 2-3 hours. Visit www.anchorage.net for more information.
HIKING OPTION C: UPPER RABBIT CREEK/Rabbit lake trailhead (Moderate)
This once easy hike was made to be more moderate in difficulty by a nearby landowner, who tore up the hiking path out of spite because Chugach State Park won’t buy his adjacent property at an arbitrarily set premium rate. We’ll see how he feels when one disgruntled hiker tears up his property and murders his family (an eye for an eye). The hike is otherwise worth your added effort for the scenic payoff of Rabbit Lake, nestled between twin summits North and South Suicide Peak, both less inviting in name and difficulty. If you’re not pressed for time, take the contiguous McHugh Trail toward North Suicide, for a more private lakeside swim.
Note: As is the case for Glen Alps Trailhead (above), a parking pass must be bought in advance and affixed to car, to access trail.
Average duration: 4-6 hours. Visit www.alaska.org for more information.
MUST SEE: beluga point
What could be the name of a posh caviar restaurant is actually the markedly less-expensive (free) but equally satisfying lookout point from which beluga whales are known to be seen traversing the inlet in the summer months. They’re not really there for you but rather to catch a meal during peak salmon season - one can argue it’s more of a posh restaurant for whales of all kinds with the belugas even being hunted by orcas. All we’re missing is a David Attenborough narration, to dramatically bring it all together.
Suggested duration: 30-60 minutes. Visit www.anchorage.net for more information.
DO MORE: bore tide viewing spot
What might have at some point been mistaken for a mythical underwater presence is actually known as a bore tide, in which the water level can suddenly rise to form waves up to six feet tall (can’t rule out the Cook Inlet monster though even if not as catchily named as its Lochness cousin). There’s obviously a scientific explanation for this but you’re on vacation and you’ll be content just pointing at the waves, and chalking it up to the mysteries of God and nature. If you plan your visit to coincide with the full, or new moon and following low tide, it’s more likely to see larger tides, though that’s probably asking too much of your disorganized self.
Suggested duration: 30-60 minutes. Visit www.anchorage.net for more information.
STAY THE NIGHT IN: anchorage
DAY 3: Hippie Movement (Chugach cont.)
HIKING option A: crow pass trailhead (Moderate)
Most queries for Crow Pass will advise embarking on the full 21-mile hike, which takes 2-3 days, but we don’t have time for that - we have a fish to catch! (when in Alaska, groan). Fortunately, the best views are to be had in the first 3 miles and back; anyone taking the full path is probably just a washed up hippie with no plan for the future other than to go with the flow, man! Don’t be dissuaded by the cloud of mosquitos at the hike’s start. They are soon to be replaced with nice views and a glacier lake payoff.
Average duration: 3-5 hours. Visit www.fs.usda.gov for more information.
HIKING option b: winner creek gorge trail head (Easy)
Take the Lower over the Upper Winner Creek Trail (three vs. nine miles), for the same reason as above (stupid hippies) but also to get pretty much the same natural highlights in less time and less bears - the more populated the trail, the less likely a bear attack, or the more people for the bear to attack before you. A sturdy boardwalk leads to a dirt trail, into North American’s northernmost rainforest, followed by Winner Creek Gorge, a cascading river seen from above. The once popular Hand Tram, in which you could pulley yourself over the gorge in a steel cage (and take refuge from blood-thirsty bears) seems closed for the foreseeable future.
Average duration: 2-3 hours. Visit www.fs.usda.gov for more information.
HIKING option c: north face hiking trail (Difficult)
An ascent of 2,000 feet in 2.2 miles would normally deter all but the hippiest of hikers but it’s located on a hotel property and it sounds like its sponsored by a corporate brand, so that keeps the trail smelling fresh, for the intrepid “non-hippies” among you. Just past the tram station (don’t get any ideas, unless you’re skiing) begins a series of grueling switchbacks, offset by peaceful meadows. It doesn’t get any easier - in fact it gets harder as you go - but there’s a deli at the top, and we’ll allow a return tram.
Average duration: 3 hours. Visit www.visitgirdwood.com for more information.
STAY THE NIGHT IN: anchorage
If continuing to Part 2, stay the night in: Chugach State Park or Whittier, Alaska.
If skipping Part 2, and continuing to Part 3, stay the night in Anchorage, Alaska.